handjob tips. give me some.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
