Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
