What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My vagina is very pro this idea
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
