..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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