i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize