All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
