i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
