ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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