If i come over, it means nothing
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
