she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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