ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
