Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm at about main and main street
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
