you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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