i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
