Pants 0. Shit 1.
too bad you live with your parents still
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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