ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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