Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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