i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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