Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I supernannyed him into submission
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
