I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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