Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
