:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
