remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
