Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
