Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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