So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
