i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
