His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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