Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
