so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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