Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
cat food counts as protein by the way
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
