I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
