Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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