How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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