i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
