got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
