Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
