I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
