evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
