In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You took a bar mat shot.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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