I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
