Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
