He is an equal opportunity slut.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
