when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
