VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
