..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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