And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
