I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
