Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
