He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
