He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
a search helicopter?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
