You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
