god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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